Just Following Orders
by Maeve Bran
Summary: A reflection on Phillip and Elizabeth and their love life both at the beginning of the American assignment and midway through the pilot.


Elizabeth Jennings looked over at the stranger who was supposed to be her husband, Phillip, he stood by the side of the new bed. They had been in the United States for a couple weeks now and had moved into a house and out of the hotel. Orders had come down that they needed to solidify their cover and that meant a child.

She supposed tonight was as good of a night as any to start. It was their first night in the house. Might as well begin as you meant to go on. She walked out of the bathroom and let her bathrobe fall. She stood there in her satin nightgown and looked him in the eye.

"Are you sure?" Phillip asked.

"We have to sometime," Elizabeth answered. "We need a child."

Phillip nodded and took off his shirt and climbed into bed. She sat down next to him. In the past month she had become used to sleeping beside him, but tonight she'd have to go farther than just sleeping with him and would have to until she became pregnant. She knelt on the bed next to him and leaned in to kiss his neck, but he turned and caught her mouth with his. He kissed her gently and tentatively at first, and then tried to deepen it but she wasn't going for it. He ran his hands down her and nudged his hand between her legs to tease her, to try to get her ready, but again she wasn't having any of it.

Elizabeth lay back on the bed and spread her legs in invitation. Phillip followed her down and trailed kisses down her neck. She flinched and tried to cover it by reaching for his pants. She shoved at them until he got the clue and stood up to take them off.

"Don't worry about me," she whispered in his ear when he lay back between her legs.

He nodded and entered her swiftly, trying to be gentle but knowing he was failing. He heard her quiet grunt of pain and ignored it. He kept trusting to complete the mission.

Phillip didn't know why Elizabeth had insisted they consummate their marriage if she wasn't going to let him make it good for her too. He knew she took orders seriously but nothing in their orders said they couldn't enjoy their cover. He knew he was hurting her but he had to finish. She wouldn't let him pull back if it meant they wouldn't have a child. A child was all that mattered. That had been the order- have a child as soon as possible. He sped up his thrusting and just focused on the sensations so he could finish as soon as possible. That was all he could do for her. He came with a soft moan. He stayed still for a moment and rolled off of her. He tried to thank her or offer her some comfort but she scooted as far away from him as she could and not fall out of bed.

Fifteen years later, Phillip finally understood Elizabeth – at least when it came to sex. He had heard rumors during training of superiors that had taken advantage of female recruits, but had thought it had been an exception rather than the rule. He at least had thought that Elizabeth had escaped such a fate, but he had been wrong. He knew she was supposed to be his cover wife and they didn't exactly have a real marriage, but he thought of her as his wife. That was the way he introduced her to new people. He didn't know what else to call the woman who shared his bed, his life, and his home. The woman who had born him two beautiful children. She was his wife for all intents and purposes. There was even a marriage license on file with the Commonwealth of Virginia. The only thing they hadn't done to make the marriage real was exchange the vows.

Phillip couldn't trade his wife's rapist for his family's security. He couldn't even stand by and return him to Russia because there was always the possibility power could shift and Timoshev would get free. He took matters into his own hand and killed Timoshev.

After they had disposed of Timoshev's body, Elizabeth climbed into the car with Phillip. She looked at the man that had been her pretend husband for all these years. She really looked at him. It had been sometime since she had bothered to do more than take in his facial expressions. He was handsome, in an old fashioned way, and strong in more than just body. He had a strength of character she hadn't known. He was going to protect their children in the way he had thought best until he had realized she had been abused. Then he was going to do something about it. No one had ever cared about that before.

Elizabeth climbed onto his lap and kissed him. She had never initiated any intimacy between them before. She had never wanted to before. Tonight, the things Phillip had done for her made her finally realize that she had been hurting them both by not letting herself feel when they had sex. Phillip was nothing like the other men she had had sex with. They had been after their pleasure but Phillip had wanted hers as well. Well, tonight she'd let him.

Phillip had been surprised when Elizabeth climbed on his lap in the car. Now he knew how damaged she was, he understood why she had never initiated anything between them. Tonight she had. He was going to use this opportunity to show her what she had denied them both. He lay her gently back on the seat and kissed her. The front seat of a car was not the place he'd have picked for this, but he'd work with it. He kept his eyes on hers as he made love to her, for the first time it was making love and not just having sex.

Elizabeth looked Phillip in the eyes as they rocked together in the front seat of the Oldsmobile. She wasn't a stranger to sex but this was different. She saw the care and passion in his eyes. She had never seen them before because she had never looked. It was different and she was liking it. Maybe after fifteen years, they could have something like a real marriage. She had never wanted one, she was following orders but maybe Phillip was right. They had been Phillip and Elizabeth Jennings so long that was who they were, so maybe it was time to admit it and just be them.

"Thank you," Elizabeth said, afterwords when clothing had been righted.

"For...?" Phillip asked.

"For your help with Timoshev," she answered.

"That's what you're thanking me for?" he asked.

"No one's cared before," she said. "Not like that."

He nodded. He heard what she wasn't saying. No one's cared because no one has been close enough to her to care. He had shown he cared and would protect her, in their private life as well as on a mission. The marriage that began as a sham fifteen years ago might have a chance at being real now. Phillip smiled and started the car. They were heading into a new future.


End file.
